The English Gentlemen by Richard Brathwait’s (1630) showing the exemplary qualities of a gentleman which are Youth, disposition, Education, Vocation, Recreation, Acquaintance, Moderation, and Perfection.
The art of being a gentleman is lost.
Nowadays, you can see few real gentleman in the course of your your day to day activity.
In this modern day and age, acting like a gentleman is considered a forgotten art. How could it not with so many examples of men behaving badly, from Hollywood Actor Charlie Sheen to Political talking head Newt Gingrich. If society is to do any following by example, the media shouldn’t be the source for proper behavior.
But with a little bit of commitment and an ounce or two of discipline, one can become a changed man and transform himself into being a true gentleman.
By actuating this little measure of discipline you will enable yourself to change your own personal view of yourself, change how others see you and alter your perception of the world in general.
Here are some tips that will help you improve yourself and in your relationships with others (professionally and socially) at home and in your workplace and hopefully put you on the road to become a true gentleman.
- Being a true gentleman entails having pride in your physical appearance. More people will respect you when they see you are clean and neat in the grooming of your body and in the clothes that you wear. You will also become highly regarded when you are equipped with complete and suitable wardrobe and wear decent clothes as fittingly as possible. In other words, if you look the part, you will BE the part.
- Be mindful of the way you carry yourself. It might be OK for JayZ to walk around with a chip on his shoulder, but it dosen’t speak well to how others perceive you to be a gentleman. Having attitude and swagger is one thing, but to much bravado is quite another. And, don’t forget the golden rule, and do unto others…but you have to act the way you want to be treated – respectfully, and with considerate kindness.
- Did I mention respect? When you want to be respected, it is also imperative that you return respect to others especially for women and older folks. Always show respect in everything you do. Modern manhood necessitates being sensitive to others needs and making life easier for them. Therefore, when we see a stalled car in the middle of the road, the best we can do is to stop and help the one in need. Perhaps a bit more closer to home – the next time we see a women or older people standing in public places or public transportation, the most likely thing for a gentleman to do is to offer his seat. A good rule of thumb whenever you see a men who helps an elders or disabled persons cross the street, open a door for a women or give up their seats for them – these are the actions of a true gentleman.
- Always practice good manners and avoid offense. It is best to avoid using foul language, profanity, or committing vulgar acts such as spitting, shouting, rudely gesturing, threatening, or raising one’s voice in public. Sometimes elevating the voice is necessary, but to do it in poor taste or to simply rise above the din is uncalled for.
- Don’t stink. Sweating happens, and a distinct part of being a gentleman is that your still a man. And to be a man means you have to work which often leads to sweating. But, as the saying goes ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’ (which actually came from Cleanness of body was ever deemed to proceed from a due reverence to God from Francis Bacon’s Advancement of Learning). Clean up after yourself with some soap and water.
Undoubtedly, the list could go on and on, and perhaps at some future date we will do just that. But for now, consider this the entry level list of becoming a gentleman.
Why you might be asking should you strive to become a gentlemen? Men who do enjoy life more when they consider themselves gentlemen because they are soon regarded as one. By following the steps of being a gentleman, very soon they too will reap the fruits of their labor when other people reflect their meritorious behavior.
It is gratifying and satisfying when people regard you as one which means that you are doing well in your relationship with others especially at home, in the workplace, or in the lodge room
I really like this because much has happen to too us all male or female we must watch all that we do because the little ones are watching us they are looking for mentors to pull them up and grow into Good people. Moving Forward God Bless
Well said, my brother. My one quibble is that I have seen many a gentleman shine through in less than “decent” clothing or outward appearance. It is the quality of the character that is a gentleman’s distinguishing feature in my eyes.
It seems like a failing idea to conduct yourself properly in a world where everyone has reduced themselves to the behavoir of chronic rudeness. I live in an age where nice guys never finish at all and where manners are so old school that you look as though you came from another planet. Don’t get me wrong, I obey these concepts as my code of conduct. For example, I opened a door for some women one day and I was ridiculed as being someone from the ages of slavery. Apparently, these women thought it as a practice in which women and slaves were not allowed to touch common objects and had to “rely” upon a male(caucasian?) to open doors for them. I wondered if I had not opened the door if I would have been in better light?
I REALY LIKED this—–gone are the days of gentelmen—-but not for me—being a gentelman—dont meen your weak—meens your strong—to be a gentelman in such a rude and arrogent world—all you have to do is think about men you knew who have went to there rewards—-most strived to be gentelmen at all times—i may not be as good at this as them—-but—i try
Being a Gentleman and being a Dandy are two different things. Your obsession with the physical has little to do with being a gentleman. Also, you have completely disregarded study and the commitment to things traditionally considered gentlemanly pursuits. Frankly it reads more as a guide to being a Metro-sexual than to anything else. Glad you wrote it though. That in and of itself is actually more Gentlemanly than your actual concepts.