Special Report: The Illuminati in Freemasonry

all seeing eye

This is investigative reporter Donald P. Stoddard for Secret Society Watch.

Over the past year, I have infiltrated a Masonic Lodge in order to find out the truth about the Illuminati-Freemasonry connection. Freemasons have been denying any association with the Illuminati for years, but this reporter remained suspicious about the information surrounding the two orders.

The primary reason that I believed such a connection must exist was the fact that Freemasons had opposed such an assertion vehemently. When I met with a local Mason on the street to ask him about the Illuminati’s presence in the fraternity, he replied “I don’t even know what the Illuminati is.” A suspicious statement for a man that is suppose to keep such a connection secret. When I later petitioned a Masonic Lodge so that I might gain admittance and thus become privy to their well-kept secret, I was asked why I wanted to become a Mason. I replied, “I’m interested to see what sort of affect that the fraternity has on society, if you catch my drift.” The investigating Masons laughed and I was accepted into the lodge shortly thereafter, a clear sign that I was on the right track to discovering the presence of the Illuminati in one of America’s largest and most secret organizations.

After receiving the degrees, it was quite clear to me that the Masonic fraternity was interested in presenting allegorical lessons that required further learning in order to understand their meaning, or more correctly, become a functioning member of the Illuminati. The members of the lodge informed me that most of the United States’ presidents had been Masons. I was only aware of fourteen that had belonged to the fraternity, but several Brothers assured me that other presidents had indeed belonged. This reporter will refer to those presidents and other public officials that are not publicly known to be Freemasons, but are claimed as Brothers in the organization as “Secret Masons.” I discovered that such Secret Masons included Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Dick Cheney, and even Simon Cowell. So the Masons, or the Illuminati, weren’t only concerned about controlling the country or the world, but they were also eager to fill the airwaves with terrible pop music in order to dull the senses of the masses. Ingenious!

When I finally got around to asking the Worshipful Master of the lodge—and yes I said worshipful as in to be worshiped–if I could attend one of the Illuminati’s meetings, he informed me that I was asking the wrong person. Of course, he was correct. I had made the error of thinking that a simple Master Mason belonged to the Illuminati. It was obvious that only 32nd Degree members were allowed to attend these meetings. I quickly became a member of the Scottish Rite to earn that degree and was once again disappointed to find that I would not be admitted to the meetings of the Illuminati as a 32nd Degree Mason. It was evident that I would have to receive the 33rd Degree, which I would have to wait nearly eight years to obtain. Indeed, these Masons were no novices at running the world. It is quite smart to make sure that only the most devoted members are allowed to have their voices heard at a meeting of the Illuminati.

However, when I asked one of the 33rd Degree members if I would be able to finally find out more about the Illuminati when I reached that degree, he replied, “Well, you might find just what your looking for by becoming a Shrine Clown” and whipped out a petition. I eagerly signed it and donned my red nose and floppy shoes so that I could finally become a member of the Illuminati. So I have been tirelessly performing at the Shrine Circus in order to gain a reputation among the other clowns and be invested with membership in the Illuminati. It appears that the Masons realize that the key to global domination is to influence the inexperienced minds of America’s youth. This is certainly a conspiracy that even Dan Brown couldn’t develop.

Yes, you heard it here first folks, the Shrine Clowns are the modern day version of the Illuminati and they are aided by the help of their many fellow Secret Masons in the entertainment industry. The truth is that the vast majority of people featured on programs such as CNN’s Showbiz Tonight are fellow clowns, helping to spread the Freemasons’ gospel of a New World Order. Now, this reporter is off to what he hopes is his first Illuminati meeting where about twenty of us will be gathering to discuss our master plan in a 1990 Ford Festiva disguised inconspicuously as a circus vehicle.

Until next time, this is Investigative Reporter Donald P. Stoddard for Secret Society Watch.

Posted in Sojourners, The Euphrates and tagged , , , .


  1. This is a j0ke, right? I am currently trying to find Legitimate and Real Illuminati in which i could join as i have so far completely love and respected what Weishaupt created, and have full hopes of finding an active remnant. Even though it is claimed to have infiltrated the Freemasons; i have little doubt and would like to believe, but so far i have been highly disappointed in finding so much as a shred. (any good pointers would be greatly appreciated by this Illuminati wannabe frustrated by arrainging chairs on the porch).
    but Shriners? Shriners Clowns? frankly i am finding this all to sound more of a bad conspiracy theory novel.
    Soo looking foreward to real NON Brent Morris “Lightbearers” to point the way
    and be real for a change.

  2. Funny stuff !
    Has us going there for a moment.. but not long !

    Mind you some of the talks are just as funny – and they are serious!
    Fellowship is good but all the ‘hidden’ malarky and inacurate Bible stories, bleah!
    Read the Bible for yourself guys .. and the “Word” is not ‘hidden’ it’s JESUS!


  3. Was this serious? As it is, i seriously resent the school of thought that
    Masonry, is only Legitimate, to the degree that it is “Christian” or in line with accepted “Christianity”. Or supportive as “Christianity”.
    Masonry, does NOT need to derive its Legitimacy from Christianity, or “Biblical anything” for that matter. Where there is Real Illuminati,
    Jesus, is seen in his True Light, Another Light Bearer, but not one that supercedes those who came before, and any who may come after. As it is, the New Testiment is hardly a reliable document as far as The Real Jesus is concerned. I doubt he would even back most of it, including what he is “Suposed to have said”
    Where is there Real Illuminati in Freemasonry? The GL of the Orient in France? The APR? Where?

  4. Well, I certainly didn’t expect these comments when I posted my article!

    James, the article was obviously meant to be humorous. It was primarily meant as a humorous piece for those who find many of the more “far out” conspiracy theories out there entertaining. Now I know how Brother Tom Accuosti felt about his April Fool’s Day post…

    Tim, thanks for getting the joke. But remember, Masonry is not dogmatic. For you the Word is Jesus, but for many it is not and that is perfectly fine. Masonry is one journey with many paths and all men must come to the “light” on their own terms.

    James, I urge you to exercise religious tolerance as well. If Tim finds that he believes Jesus supersedes other prophets, holy men, etc., then it is certainly his right.

    Finally, for clarification the word ‘Illuminati’ as it appears in my article refers the the society which secretly advocates and executes political change with the goal of creating a New World Order as found in various conspiracy theories. It has nothing to do with any philosophically-oriented organization that may be referred to as the Illuminati.

  5. Wait a minute – are you saying that the Illuminati is not really connected with Freemasonry after all?

    Now, what the hell am I supposed to do with this fez and little, tiny car?

  6. OK, so it was a joke. I am glad. It doesn’t get me any closer to finding a exsisting Illuminati remnant to work with, but i am sure in time i will find it, or it me.

    As for religious tolerance; excuse me if i sounded intolerant. As a Tibetan Buddhist who escaped Mormonism, and tried to work with Messianic Judaism, and other ‘faith experiments’, i am fine with all faiths… to a poiint, Islam however simply has failed all attempts for me to find believable legitimacy.

    My only complaint about “religion” per se, is the drive people seem to have to be completely Monmo-valant, and attempt to have all others on the planet be “saved” vs “damned”, depending on whether one “Accepts” their difination on “Truth”. I had a Bible Baptist WM who made no bones AS WM that if one does not accept his call to Faith… his faith, then one does not believe in the Bible they made their obligations on, therefore were not saved, thankfully he let those folks know, he was “Above argueing Down to them”.

    I highly highly encourage everybody to watch Bill Mahers “Religulous”. It is not only funny, but very well highlights just how damaging “Relgion” is, vs. Spirituality. The one thing i find most “religious ” people do not do is actually “Critically Autopsy” whatever religion they are. Claim to be a convert to it they may, rare are the souls who have delibrately left “the faith of their birth” Carefully examined and actually attempted to practice a foriegn relgion, and ever worked their way back to where they began.
    When it comes to Pauls admontion to “Test-Try and Prove” their faith, it is everso much simpler to ‘just believe’, rather to risk “losing their “Faith”
    which is a 50/50 bet at best. Being “Born Again as per Jesus statement, is not the “alter call” we western christian americans are so used to, but, something far far more real and important.

    Rant has gone too far.


  7. I strongly believe that the Illuminati still exist to this day,mostly in the form of the highest degree’s in the masons.It is hard to find the true illuminati but thats the point,it’s going to be hard to find them because thier so secretive and influental that you don’t know who they are but i’ll give you people some other secret societies to try-out,Bilderberg,Rosicrucions,Skull&Bones,and Order of the Quest.The order of the quest to this day has some strong evedance that they maybe the True ancient illuminati that formed between bablon and egypt.

  8. This is very illuminating (pun intended) as to critical thinking skills of the average conspiricay theorist.

  9. Whaaa, man, I had the shoes, and … ah well back to their REAL modern day controlling body …. hidden in the various works of the Polka band!!!!!!

    Ah thank you ILBrother Mel Torme…

  10. Hi, I am a young teen looking and searching this world for answers. I have heared so many things and so much of it makes sense but the drawback of my research is that I do not know what to believe an if there are real people for example like the secret society hiding stuff from us. But my question is what kind of stuff?… Also what does the word “illuminati” mean? Does it mean light as in what? Also I have found that the world is a very strange place to live and “never trust anyone”. But my biggest question is what does
    all of this mean! What foes it mean! What the flippen freak man does thus flippen thing mean!!!!

  11. U are are first class IDIOT.

    You just wasted 5 mins of my life and I want them back. U think this stuffs funny when they abuse young children and are controlling all aspects of society. SO NOT FUNNY!!!!

  12. Quem poderia me responder ou o que a organização Illuminati fala ou sabe a respeito das 6:20hs do dia 06/08/2036??????

  13. Dear Friends, Happy Fool’s Day!!

    Two women were in a hair salon talking about their home lives when the subject of flighty husbands came up.
    “It’s unbelievable,” one woman said. “I can never figure out where he goes at night.”
    “I know exactly what you mean,” said the other woman. “One second he’s in the house, and the next he’s gone without a trace.”
    “Well,” says a woman eavesdropping nearby. “I always know where my husband is.”
    “How do you manage that?” the other two women ask.
    “Easy,” she replies. “I’m a widow.”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!

  14. Msge to Illuminatis:
    Islam Dosen’t care to your stupid religion; Because your fucking <> with one eye will be killed in the end by Jessus; If you had an strong influence in the world so why the Islam is progressing rapidly; any way you can’t stope it!!!
    Yeah! The Islam will DOMINATE the world!! Allaho Akbar!!!

  15. what he is saying is true in lots of aspects. do your research about the illuminati and freemasons they want to control us. they want u to worship them and what they belive in and what u should be worshiping is GOD, no one else. there a movie out called the illumanti watch it. good documentry might learn something…..

  16. If you think Free Masonry is out to control you, please elaborate on what they are doing to gain the control of your thoughts and actions? Please, let me know. You are making false and inaccurate assessments based off of what? Have you ever been to a Masonic Lodge? Have you ever sat down with a Mason and asked what is a Mason? What do you do? Chances are your answer is no. And reading an internet article from a “so-called” former Mason doesn’t mean he is a Mason and just how much weight does his word really carry for you? Do you just believe what you happen to read? Or is it just exciting and fun to think of it as a conspiracy that since it’s “secret” which most of it isn’t. Just because someone says they were, or even were apart of something and they write a book doesn’t mean it’s automatically the truth. Freemasonry is all over the place and around you. Some of you are gullible enough to believe such things as our currency is Masonic. Did you know that Freemasons were not apart of the final designers of our monetary system? And that the only Mason involved in any of it was Ben Franklin at the beginning? Or did you fall for that one too? Do you claim to know whether or not every organisation is good or bad even though you doubtfully have very little knowledge about it? I do ask you how such a “secret society” plans to take over the world in this “New World Order”, without a clear defined leader? Just a few questions to think about.

  17. RIGHT Then! Aye! Wink wink nudge nudge. Know what Aye Mean!
    LOL~! First there was LIGHT…..then came a whole lot of stuff. Important stuff. Then we came along. We rocked…stones et all. Then we really rocked…metal rules! We’ve been around a while dude(ttes)s
    Folks, there is no one or org that can control us or reveal the true nature of why we exist. Only you have the answer! Just Stop and smell the roses. Introspect. Rich, poor, powerful, “enlightened”…we all have our parts. A fools journey leads to wisdom. We are all children in a playground vying for a position in the hierarchy of humanity. Open your minds and try to find your meaning. aka “raison d’etre”. Honestly, I don’t know the freemasons or the Illuminati and they don’t know me, intrinsically. They are gangs with individuals which makes them feel part of something special…and some think themselves all knowing. The life we live is very short. Know yourself so you can move on.

  18. i talked to a guy and his father was a part of the free masons and he said that they were apart of the circus’s like the shrine’s circus. if you ask me that person is a good source. and that is why i googled it and stumbled upon this page. i really want to learn more and want to be a secret society watch person.

Comments are closed.